So, I used to dream about being a rock star. I would write songs on my guitar or piano as a teen and record them on my little computer mike. I would imagine singing them to a huge crowd, which conveniently would include ex-boyfriends (all 1 1/2 of them) who did me wrong and were dying to have another chance with my beautiful and talented self. I would go into the bathroom with my CD Walkman and sing to the mirror, perfecting my “performing face,” complete with dim lighting and overdone make-up. That was my dream and I wanted it oh so bad.
Now let’s grow up a little bit and come back to the realities of this dream I had. This dream I wanted. Why didn’t it work out? Why am I not still relentlessly crooning at coffee shops and pushing my demo CD on every person who has a pulse? Because I didn’t know my dream. I wanted it for sure but I didn’t know it like I needed to in order to make it a reality.
Now, if you know me at all, you know that music is one of my few true loves in life. I love to play it. I love to make it. I love to listen to it. All day and all night and onto the next day, I heart music. And this is where the “glass half full” people will totally jump on my case: I just didn’t feel like I was good enough to pursue a career in music. Now, just give me a minute before you stab me to death with blades of optimism and determination.
Yes, with enough optimism and determination, I think I could have been a great piano or guitar player, maybe as a music teacher at a high school who jammed with a local band every other Saturday night for fun. If that had been my dream, totally acceptable and achievable. But that wasn’t the dream I wanted. I wanted to be a singer/songwriter piano goddess of rock who could also smoke you on the guitar any day of the week that had a Y in it. I came to the realization that my voice was not star-quality and that I commanded a stage presence that was about the size of a thimble.
I concluded that my song writing was probably my strongest point. Hmm, interesting – words are my greatest weapon! Once I mulled this over a bit, I realized that there was another love in my life and it was stories. I mean, that is basically what a good song consists of, right? A good story? And I possessed the golden voice as it pertained to writing because – well, excuse my modesty, but – I am a damn good writer. And I know that and so I am willing to put forth the effort to know my dream better – research the industry, take classes and writing workshops and go to conferences and just write, write, write every day. I have the tools and the time and the optimism and determination to make it happen – so why wouldn’t I? You need to know where your talents and strengths lie before you can really know your dream.